Pebble in my sneaker: I am aware you or your employer had an agenda….I retraced my steps over the last 26-28 hours, and last removed the footwear in which you had been sequestered roughly 12 hours ago, but you had not yet arrived. I removed said sneaker indoors, you were not cloistered in my shoe before this morn. You infiltrated whilst I slept, with all doors closed to preserve heat (yet the heater remained active until I woke after 8 hours. I thoughtlessly left the footwear in the adjacent room. I am a light sleeper and also a paranoiac, hence I have my door fitted with an alarm which certainly would have roused me from my post-apocalyptic shopping day work-fatigue torpor. I wish to employ torture and inquisition to know how you got into my damned shoe; alas, you are an inanimate object, so I will crush you to dust to assuage my annoyance. Fuck you, pebble.